Another disciple said to him, “Lord, first let me go and bury my father.”
But Jesus told him, “Follow me, and let the dead bury their own dead.”
Matthew 8:21-22.
"Let the dead bury their own dead" - one might think of what a harsh attitude from Jesus. But, is Jesus really being stringent? Of course not, if we understand Him and of His urgency for the Kingdom. We must understand the ancient death, mourning, funeral and ritual practices of the Jews. However, I don't want to take a deep dive into the subject, but want to make an ancient practice point of the Jews. Deuteronomy 34:8, reads "The Israelites grieved for Moses in the plains of Moab thirty days, until the time of weeping and mourning was over." A little beyond Moses, Joseph, the son of Jacob (Israel), waited forty days for the body of Jacob to be embalmed. The Egyptians usually take seventy days to embalam a Pharaoh. Joseph being the Regent of Egypt, Jacob's body might have been embalmed in the Egyptian way of medical practices. The Scripture supports it, "He (Joseph) commanded his servants who were physicians to embalm..." (Ex 50:2). And because Joseph is not a Pharaoh, there might been a little change in the embalming process which took only forty days. Exodus 50:3 reads, that Egyptians took seventy days for mourning. Whether the forty days for embalming was included in the seventy days of mourning is not clear (Ex 50:3). If the forty days are not included, then the number of days it took for embalming and mourning will be 110 days. A few more days for traveling from Egypt to Israel: according to Deuteronomy 1:2, it will take eleven days to travel from Mount Horeb (Sinai) to Kadesh-barnea, near Negev desert (Num 13:17). It would not take more than eleven days for the spies to travel from the Wilderness of Paran (Num 13:3) to the land of Canaan. And an addition of seven more days for Joseph's mourning before the funeral. This will take the total number of days between 88 to 128 (including or excluding the embalming days) before funeral.
The ancient jewish burials streatched over an entire year. The elder son, in this scenario, Joseph being the precedent of all the sons of Jacob (Ge 50:18), was obligated to gather the skeletal remains and place them in an ossurary (if this was the practice). But placing the skeletal remains of the bereaved person in an ossurary is practiced in the time of Jesus.
Was Jesus demanding the disciple to follow Him leaving his father and mother? Not at all, instead, He is demanding the disciple to choose the priority. What was the need for the disciple to choose Jesus above all else? All the twelve apostles of Jesus, just followed Jesus the moment He asked them to follow Him. They left everything (Matt 4:18-21; Mk 2:13,14) before following Jesus. Jesus was in a sort of urgency to complete the task His Father has laid upon Him. In the Gospel of John 16:16, Jesus speaks of His unexplained urgency in a few words, "In a while you will see me no more..." Jesus clearly knows that, He has a very less time and a huge task ahead to complete. Within this very short period of time, He has to groom and fashion the rustic twelve into a civilized, meek and courageous people, filled with Holy Spirit. He has to make them understand who He is (Matt 16:13-16), at the same time He has to expound them that He is the fulfillment of the Scriptures (Matt 5:17,18; 8:17; Jn 12:38-42), which was later protrayed by the apostles in their Gospels and the letters. To credence this urgency of Jesus, He speaks to a scribe who approached in eagerness to follow Him wherever He goes. Jesus answered him back,"Foxes have dens and birds have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head” (Matt 8:20). What was Jesus trying to mean? Doesn't Jesus have a house to live in? Doesn't His apostles have their houses to shelter Jesus? Recent Archaeological excavations have exposed a building which is supposed to be of Peter (St.Peter's Church, Capernaum). Gospel of Matthew 2:15, reads that Levi (Matthew) gave a dinner to Jesus and others at his house. So, everybody has a (own) house to live in. Then, what was Jesus meant by these words? He speaks of His urgency to finish the task. Jesus was so focused that He wanted His apostles to learn fast. In this process, Jesus sometimes even rebuked them (Matt 17:14-17; Mk 4:40; 16:14; etc). To make them learn fast, Jesus was so attentive, that He was not ready to leave them alone or to send them back to their homes. Jesus wanted his disciples to be with Him day and night, every moment, every hour. He made constant travels up and down Israel with His disciples. He always wanted them to listen to Him.
As Jesus knew that He has a very short time and a big task to accomplish, Jesus wanted those who are eager to follow Him must choose the priority before anything else, even if it be their dear ones.
"While Jesus was still talking to the crowd, his mother and brothers stood outside, wanting to speak to him. Someone told him, “Your mother and brothers are standing outside, wanting to speak to you.” He replied to him, “Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?” Pointing to his disciples, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers. For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother." (Matt 12:46-50).
“If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple. And whoever does not carry their cross and follow me cannot be my disciple." (LK 14:26,27).
